Reflecting on what could have been and rejoicing in what is…

Jesus is clear that there is a cost to following Him… He doesn’t sugar coat it and tell you that you can have all of your dreams and this perfect life and follow Him.
Luke 14.26-27: “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.”
Is the Jesus who comes preaching LOVE telling us to actually hate those closest to us? NO. He’s saying that even the dearest people in our lives, those who we treasure the most should pale in comparison to our adoration for Christ. Our love for them should look like hate in comparison to our love for Jesus.
It’s hard truth but it’s truth… Here’s another tough pill to swallow…
Luke 14.33: “So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.”
We have to be willing to give up anything for the sake of Christ. We have to recognize the cost…
Is my life mainly great? ABSOLUTELY! Is there ever a day I regret my decision to follow Christ’s leading to DE? NO NOT ONE. But I feel it’s also important to recognize the cost…
Sometimes the cost comes for me in telling my family goodbye after a visit or having my grandpa say “when are you coming home again?”
Sometimes it comes in missing my friends and feeling like I don’t have time to connect with them…
Sometimes it comes in the frustration of trying to balance my life…
Sometimes it comes in missing my old church family and the youth kids there….
But this past week the cost came first in missing my sister’s junior prom (not being there to get her ready, do her make-up, have my picture made with her, watch her ride off with her charming date)…
And secondly the cost came in this realization…. If I had stuck to my 10 year plan, I would be graduating with all my friends from Milligan College this weekend with my BSN.
This week as I watched status after status about finishing undergrad, pinning, and graduation… my mind couldn’t help but wander… What would my life have been like if I would have never surrendered to this crazy adventure? I would be walking across a stage this weekend with diploma in hand and celebrating with my awesome friends that we had finally made it…
Oh but what I would have missed out on……..
Check this out: Luke 9.23-25… Jesus said “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” {but the great part is that it doesn’t end there} He continues, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?”
I could have clinched so tightly for one my year to my life (nursing school, close friendships, being near my family, serving at my home church) but oh the life I would have missed. I would have missed this journey… this new intimacy with God… the joy of being in His perfect will… the fullness of life that only comes in losing ourselves (our dreams, our comforts) for His sake.
The truth is this … there is a cost… following where God wants you to be will never come without a price… BUT the price is never more than the reward!
Would it be nice to be close to my family, celebrating graduation with my friends, still serving in my home church? Absolutely… but even with counting the cost, I wouldn’t trade for one second being where God wants me to be here I Delaware… I wouldn’t do this past year any differently.

So what’s happening now? God’s opening doors! Great ones! It looks like I’m going to be staying in Delaware for a while! I am still working with the church and I had been picking up 1-2 days a week of babysitting on the side. But as of yesterday a new sweet baby girl named Katherine Finn was born and I will now be her part time nanny in addition to my role at the church! I’m so excited for this new part of my Delaware adventure. God is so good and I’m so humbled that He sent me here, that He’s using me. It blows my mind every day!


For my Milligan friends reading this… CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so happy for you all and so proud of your perseverance!

To those of you who have kept up and been praying me through this journey or supported me in any way… THANK YOU! I couldn’t do this without you all!

For any of you reading this… don’t be afraid to let go of anything that God is calling you to renounce… My overused phrase that I’ve found so much truth in is this…
You will never ever surrender something to God’s control and regret it later!



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