my request of you

Since really getting involved in this blog over the past few months, I've attempted to at least once a week just pour out my heart to you. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the planned out guest posts, link ups,   and Monday Memories. I love sharing with you glimpses of my marriage life and quiet times. But at least once a week, I find it nice to just pour out my heart. Not only is it therapeutic for me, it also makes me feel like we're becoming friends. In a way, I suppose we are. I'm sharing some of the most intimate moments of my life with you and many of you (through comments/emails) are doing the same in return. 

So today, if we were having coffee or lunch and you ask me, "Brandy, what's on your heart?", this is what I'd tell you.

I feel an overwhelming burden for my sisters in this season. This is the part of infertility that you don't expect.  You expect to be relieved to find others in your shoes... and in weird "I'm not alone" way, I am.  But in a completely other "God, please not them" way, I am not.  I am devastated. Because when my heart breaks for me as I see yet another status of pregnancy or birth, I know of another 5 people seeing and feeling the very same thing. 

Because we're so open about it and because of the blog, I know oodles of women in this struggle. I wouldn't change that.  I delight in hearing their stories. I delight in praying for them. But my heart breaks with them, for them. 

See I realize that I'm very blessed within this season. Yes, the longing to be a mommy can be consuming at times. Yes, it seems right now I'm surrounded by expectant moms and soft-skinned infants. Yes, we got handed a slightly frustrating diagnosis.

But I also know I'm greatly blessed. I'm blessed with friends who've been through infertility that encourage me, let me vent, and don't judge my emotions. I'm blessed with a husband who longs for baby along side of me and lets me cry on his shoulder over Pampers commercials. I'm blessed with a support group of friends and family that pray for us and get their hopes up with us every month.  I'm blessed with an intimacy from the Lord that can only come from seasons of such hurt. I'm blessed with pregnant friends who care, who are sensitive, and don't withdraw. I'm blessed with a wonderful doctor who gives hugs but not pressure. I'm blessed that she's found nothing wrong so far. I'm blessed with this blog where I get to see God using our struggle even before I see the dawn. I'm blessed with your emails and stories of God's redemption and beautiful plan.

But the voices you don't hear..... often times can't say the same for themselves.

I'm burdened for my sister in infertility who doesn't have friends who can relate. I'm burdened for the one whose marriage is struggling because the stress is just too much. I'm burdened for the one whose now lost 4 precious babies but has not one to rock to sleep. I burdened for the one whose tried years upon years wondering if her time has passed. I'm burdened for the one who just got a diagnosis that says this will forever be a struggle. I'm burdened for the one whose husband is apathetic and doesn't understand the hurt. I'm burdened for the one who can't see the purpose or the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm burdened for the one who is aching to provide a sibling for their child. I'm burdened for the one who doesn't know Jesus and can never get peace of mind.

I'm burdened for them.

And this is only the beginning. This list could go on and on of woman after woman.

And while they're often on my heart and in my prayers, this week I can't seem to shake it. This week my heart hurts when I think of them.

So I'm asking, for those of you who would usually comment and say your praying for me, would you do me a favor? Please know that I appreciate your prayers SO SO SO much. They are such an overwhelming blessing in my life.  But for at least today (and possibly more) would you please pray for them?  Would you pray that they have peace?  Would you pray that God will give them hope?  Would you pray over their marriages and their friendships? Would you pray that the Lord would bless them with a child?

It would mean more to me than I can express.

Amanda at A Royal Daughter wrote a beautiful post about what to pray for those struggling to conceive. You can find that HERE for a great place to start.

Thank you sweet friends.... you make this journey easier.