God pursues a broken heart like none other.

Last week I was in the middle of my own battle of losing the baby I'd dreamed up, when I received a call that shattered my heart. The news from a dear friend that she was losing her baby that actually was and wasn't just a dream. 

All day I had been angry.... angry that I wasn't pregnant.... angry that it seemed everyone else was. But on my drive to her house I knew God couldn't use me to hold someone in their brokenness if I didn't give up the hardness of my own. So I prayed and I repented. And for the first time that day I began to take deep breaths. 

For the next 3 days, I was literally sharing with her the moment by moment encouragement the Lord was giving me.... to make it to one more event, to see one more baby, to simply worship Him for who He is and the grace He's given. 

Usually we share the comfort we receive with others after our circumstance is over. We can look back and recall the faithfulness of the Lord and the redemption of the struggle.  But this was different.

This was moment by moment the Lord encouraging me and me moment by moment trying to pass that on. 

As she and I texted back and forth sharing the beautiful "God-winks" we were receiving, it hit me. God pursues a broken heart like none other. 

I've known this deep down all along but to see so tangibly how He was literally getting me from hour to hour. How He would provide just the right people in just the right place or just the right song at just the right time. How at times it felt like He was literally forcing my heart to beat steady and my breath to come slow.... and He was doing the same for her. For my friend.

When we are broken, and we don't fight the brokenness, we have a heightened sense of our need for God. When our hearts are literally in pieces, we recognize that we don't just need God to accomplish big things.... but that we need Him to do the most basic things.

We need Him to drive home without having a breakdown. We need Him to attend a birthday party. We need Him to simply be around people who have no clue how much we hurt.

So with this heightened sense of need He comes swooping in...
He reminds us that He has not forgotten us. He reminds us that His love is great for us. He reminds us that His plan is beautiful for us. He reminds us that His wings cover us.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34.18 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  Matthew 5.4

A friend asked me Sunday why I thought it was that God wasn't giving us a baby. It was great question... one I wish people would ask more often instead of some of the others I get. While I have a very long answer with many reasons that I will probably soon make into a post, this is one of them. 

We see all throughout scripture that suffering produces good in the hearts of God's people.... part of that good comes from feeling Him closer than ever. 

Seeing His faithful pursuit of our hearts even when they are in pieces.  Embracing His magnificent comfort in the midst of all the tears. T hat's where I've been these last few days.
  I've said it before and I say it again... With tear-filled eyes and a broken heart, I will praise God from an empty womb. Because He is good. His grace is enough. And He is near to the brokenhearted.

So maybe today you have your own valley, your own broken heart.

Don't be afraid to mourn and grieve. Don't put up walls of stone and "strength" to avoid all emotions. Because when you tear away that mustered up strength and you let yourself be fully broken,  your heart will be comforted and pursued in a brand new way. With new eyes, you'll interact with a God who cares about your every hurt.  Today I'm linking up with Lisa at the Amateur Nester! For more inspirational infertility posts head on over by clicking HERE.