To the girl with a broken heart and an empty womb...

Dear sister.....

I know that your heart is in pieces.

I know that you feel alone, misunderstood, and empty.
I know that you get upset, frustrated and confused.
I know that with every announcement, every bumpdate, every shower, every birth that pain becomes more gripping. 
I know that even simple tasks like grocery shopping, serving at church, or going to family get togethers can be incredibly emotional.
I know that you are exhausted... from praying and hoping, crashing and breaking over and over and over again. 
I know that even your dreams likely haunt you as you wake up time and time again to find that the pregnancy or the baby were only that... a dream.
I know you wonder why everyone around you seemingly has it so easy and if you'll ever have your turn.
I know that "just not thinking about it" isn't an option.... that it can be overwhelming, consuming, and suffocating at times.
I know that you long to be the friend, sister, cousin who is thrilled for those around you... but the longing you have to be in their shoes is even greater still. 
I know that when you pass a pregnant woman your stomach drops and that passing the baby section is a reminder of all you don't have.
I know that each cycle day 1, one-lined test, or call from the doctor makes you grieve the child that never was. 
I know that every whiney pregnant girl or complaining momma makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs "Don't you know how blessed you are!?"
I know that you can't stand the thought of one more anniversary, one more Christmas, or one more Mother's Day coming and not having a baby to call your own. 
I know that sometimes faith is hard to come by and contentment is a fight.
I know that even if you trust God's timing and you know He is good, still your heart doesn't mend.
I know you... and I know you're not alone... because I am you.


I could sugarcoat this letter to be all butterflies and rainbows but I know you'd all check out. 


Here's what I don't know.....
I don't know if you're trying for your 1st child or your 4th. 
I don't know if you've been trying 6 months or 6 years.
I don't know if you're holding to hope or have completely given up.
I don't know if you have a support group or you're going at it alone.
I don't know if you talk about it or it's your best kept secret.
I don't know if you love Christ or want nothing to do with Him. 
I don't know if you you will ever hold a(nother) child in your womb.


But......
I know that Christ wants you to run to Him.
I know that He cares about each tear that falls.
I know that it's okay to break and cry and question.
I know that you are not forgotten and are not overlooked.
I know that you need Him more than you need a baby.
I know that He is hope.
I know that He is enough.


So in the waiting and the hurting know you're not alone and you're not abandoned. 
Know that you are prayed for and deeply loved. 
Know that though your heart is broken and your womb is empty, He loves you.
It's something we all need to know.


the girl with a broken heart and an empty womb,


If you are dealing with infertility I would love to pray with you as you go through this journey. Email me at brandymillerwriting@gmail.com. 
Whether you are or aren't struggling, please share this.  I guarantee you their are many people struggling in your sphere whether you know it or not.
Make sure to check out my friend Christie's post to those struggling HERE!  Christie wanted us to kick off Infertility Awareness Week with these letters to you! She just recently opened up about her struggle and has such a sweet heart in it! I know you'll love her as much as I do!
For more posts on infertility visit my infertility page HERE!