By the Bride
Sixteen had come and gone, and still there had been no first
date. That was the golden age my parents had set that I would be allowed to
“car-date.” That rule didn’t matter though unless there was someone to take me
on that date. Years went by and my standards for dating only got stricter…
making my chances of finding my husband seem slimmer and slimmer in the world’s
eyes. Sometimes I would blame my singleness on my strong Christian convictions
or my permanent residence in the “friend zone” but looking back I clearly see
that God was protecting me. He was also granting my request… I started praying
when I was 18 that I would not enter a serious relationship with anyone that
wasn’t my husband. Of course I had my interests here and there and had my share
of times that I hoped I had met him, but none of those ever seemed to move past
friendship. Enough about my singleness and on to the good part….
Rewind to the Summer of 2012. I had just finished my junior
year of Nursing School at Milligan College in East Tennessee. For about a year,
I had been feeling incredibly unsettled. My life seemed pretty perfect…. I had
great friends, was part of a wonderful cheer squad, had 2 ideal jobs for the
time, and was moving right along my 10-year plan. However, God kept poking me
about that planner personality of mine. After much prayer, frustration, tears,
and resistance, I surrendered my 10-year plan to the Lord while working PowerLife
Student Camps that summer. I remember telling God, I was all His now and that
He got to make the plans. I had been saved since age 11 but had simply been
adding God to my life instead of fully making my life His. I never imagined
where that moment of surrender would land me. I was supposed to be returning to
Milligan for my senior year in only 3 weeks following camp… but God kept
reminding me of that promise I made Him…. In the same day that I finally
released my hands from Milligan, Tammy (pastor’s wife at Lifehouse) messaged me
about visiting and praying about joining their church plant…. in Delaware.
After sleepless nights, intimate moments with the Lord, and a visit to
Townsend, I knew this homebody, rooted, planner girl was packing her bags. I
moved to Delaware on October 13, 2012.
I immediately felt grounded here and began to settle in… but
was keeping in mind that the commitment I had given LifeHouse was 1 year and
then we would pray for direction from there. One of the first ministries that
kicked off soon after was 1021, a ministry for young adults. I had no idea that
it would be that bible study that opened the opportunity for me to meet my
husband.
In early February of this year, Mark (my pastor) had asked me
to reach out to a new “20-something” he had met after church. In my typical
outgoing fashion, I called Joel and left him a voicemail inviting him to 1021.
That Thursday…… ENTER JOEL! He rarely missed after that. I wasn’t at all
thinking he could be my husband though…. Within the first few conversations
with Joel, all I really knew was that he loved Jesus, fishing, hunting, and
that he worked in Air National Guard full time (but I had no idea what that
even meant haha).
Side note: Also in February, God confirmed for me that
Delaware was more than just a year commitment but rather more of a permanent
place. It was then that I accepted the position of nanny to Katherine Finn part
time.
It wasn’t until April really that Joel and I’s friendship
started to grow more. I distinctly remember one night after a 1021 bonfire
where a couple of my friends made comments such as “seems like you and Joel
were having a good talk.” That we were… but my mind still wasn’t thinking
potential husband, just enjoyable friend. It wasn’t really until a hiking trip
with 1021 in June that I realized quite how much I enjoyed his company. My
interest greatly increased as we served together in VBS the following week and
had many conversations while eating out with the gang each night. It was this
week I could see his amazing love for Jesus, his humility in serving, and his
strong Christian convictions. Being the girl though I felt I had to simply wait
and pray. I tried to deny the interest, knowing that I would be serving in TN
at a camp the following week. Every time it would rise to my mind, I would ask
God to take it away if it wasn’t from Him. About a week and a half after
returning from camp, Joel started making his interest in me obvious. After the
4th of July, I knew the interest must be mutual. The next day, he
asked if we get together and talk over the weekend. We agreed to meet up Sunday
afternoon for coffee. Saturday was mostly spent with me as a wreck but that
evening, peace overflowed… and I knew that even though I had no idea what Joel
was about to ask, that we were to be more than friends. The next morning I
received even more confirmation when I realized that part of the worship set
was How He Loves… the song I’ve planned on walking down the aisle to for quite
some time. That Sunday afternoon at Starbucks, Joel expressed his interest and
asked if he could pursue me with the hope of one day making me his wife. It was
if he had read my prayer journal…. I knew that the words he spoke could only be
from the leading of the Holy Spirit. I of course was thrilled!
The coming days contained many hours on the phone and the
porch swing filled with long conversations about our lives, our hopes, and our
Lord. Because I had to leave again for student camps a few days after that
Starbucks talk, it was another 15 days before it happened…….. Joel took me out
on my very first date. It wasn’t long before we both knew. This wasn’t just a
relationship for a season but for a lifetime. I had prayed every day since he
had shown interest that if he wasn’t my husband, God would show me quickly. Yet
every day, there was more confirmation and more peace. It was so easy to see
that God had been preparing our journeys for each other for many years. Though
so many times people had doubted that I would find someone who matched my
long-prayed prayers, God provided…. Not just someone who shared my love for the
Lord but also my convictions. Not just someone who wanted to treasure me in the
future but someone who had been treasuring me in his past. I can remember the
very specific Monday that we had a picnic date by the pond and I really knew.
We didn’t say it until Thursday but I knew that night that I loved him and he
would be my husband. Although I joked to a couple of my closest friends and my
mom that a fall wedding was my ideal, I never really dreamed that he would
propose in time for that. But boy was I wrong. On August 7th while
walking on the beach Joel got down on one knee, told me he didn’t want to spend
another day without me, that he wanted to spend forever serving the Lord with
me, and asked me if I would marry him. With an exclamation of “OF COURSE!” and
hug-turned-to-tackle I knocked the ring in the sand…. After a few seconds
(seemed like minutes) of looking, he placed the ring on my hand and the moment
I had been waiting for happened… we shared our first kiss. My first kiss. His
first kiss. Knowing that we would belong to each other forever. I felt like the
most blessed woman in all the world. I couldn’t believe that this wonderful,
godly man wanted to make me his wife! And soon....
When looking at calendar over ice cream after the proposal,
Joel (knowing I wanted an outside wedding and dreaming of fall) offered 2
dates: 0ct 26 or Nov 9. The choice is obvious…. The last two and a half months
have been blissful and chaotic, full of excitement and anxiety. Planning a
wedding in this short amount of time has been no easy task but one we are
thoroughly glad we took on. We are certain that October 26, 2013 is the day
that God arranged for us to become one on. I fall more and more in love every day
and I pray that progression never stops. Sometimes I still can’t believe this is real
and he’s here and God is blessing me the way He is. I have no idea what the
future holds… but I know that I’m thankful that whatever it is Joel and I will
be together chasing after the Lord. I’m also thankful for a cancelled 10 year
plan, the friend zone, porch swings, answered prayers, a man who loves Jesus
more than he loves me, and a Savior who never quits pursuing, blessing, and
loving me.
“Wait on the Lord, be strong, take heart, and wait on the
Lord.” – Psalm 27.14
By the Groom
~
I want to
start this story by sharing a few of my values and beliefs. I am a follower of
Christ, who is the only Son of God, who gave His life to die on a cross for my
sins because of His great love. I trusted my life to Jesus at an early age, but
I didn’t always follow Him as I should.
I’ve never
been the kind of guy to date a lot. I’m not sure what I would have told you
about what I was seeking for in a lady, except that I wanted to find my wife. I
didn’t want to date just for the sake of dating and being in a relationship
with someone, which I see so often. I wanted to find the person I’m going to
spend the rest of my life with. Although at many times this was very difficult
and certainly lonely at the worst of times, I always knew God would provide for
me in His perfect timing. It was something I prayed about for many years,
putting my faith in Him to give me the lady that He knew I needed and desired.
My love
story really begins a whole year before I met Brandy, which was about February
2012. I was living in Newark, Delaware, co-renting a house with several friends
from the church I went to at the time. It was a time where I was feeling really
lonely and unhappy with where I was in life. I’ve lived in Delaware my whole
life and despite having family, friends and a good job here, I felt like
Delaware had nothing left to offer me. That’s right; I said Delaware and not
God, because I was not seeking God in my life. I rarely went to church, skipped
bible studies that I previously led even though they were hosted in my house
and almost never prayed. I wanted to leave Delaware so badly and I was trying
everything in my power to leave. I was in communication with several military
units on the west coast and was trying my hardest to market myself to make the
transition. My father and mother, who live in California, were also helping me
in every way they could to make the move. I had big plans; I bought an RV in
June 2012 and put almost all my possessions in a storage unit. The goal was to
live in my RV at Dover AFB, then drive to wherever I got a new job and come
back for my stuff at a later date. Fast forward three months to late September;
I had spent three long months living in my tiny RV and no solid prospects.
Every single door that I found was closing in front of me. I was very
frustrated and was resentful that nothing was working out. I realized that this
was obviously not what God wanted of me, but I didn’t like it or understand
why. So I ended up buying a house in Townsend and pretty much continued my life
as normal.
For
Christmas of 2012, I decided to spend the week visiting with my older brother
and his family in Virginia. During my time there, I was convicted in numerous
ways of how I was living only for myself and not for Christ. I made the
decision to seek God in every area of my life and wholly depend on Him. I knew
this meant I needed to find a church to attend. When the new year of 2013
began, I started seeking a church. I thought it was fitting that it was a new
year with new beginnings, but I had no idea just how much God would work in my
life this year. I ended up driving past Lifehouse church on the third Sunday in
January on my way to visit a different church. I saw the banners outside and it
reminded me of the church I used to go to, so I thought I might visit it the
following week. Well I did and I’ve been going to Lifehouse ever since. Upon my
first visit to Lifehouse, I knew God was moving in this church and I wanted to
be a part of that. I was away for a week and a half visiting my younger brother
in Italy during February. I came back in the third week and decided to attend
1021 that Thursday, a ministry for young adults at Lifehouse.
I’m sure
you’ve been reading this and wondering at what point I’m going to meet Brandy.
Well here we are: my first time to 1021 and I’m standing in the doorway. I know
Sheri and Mike talked to me briefly, but what I remember the most is this
red-headed gal coming over and welcoming me. We talked for a few minutes and
after a while, she invited me to sit next to her on the couch. I can be shy
when attending new places; Brandy made me feel comfortable and welcome in this
new place. Although I would soon start many new relationships at Lifehouse, I
can honestly say that Brandy was my first friend there. As the months went by,
my friendship with Brandy grew. We began to have longer and deeper
conversations, about ourselves and about the Lord. Sometime around late May, as
I prayed daily, Brandy began to come to mind a lot when I asked God to bring me
a wife. I also had really begun to notice her and think of her as possibly
being more than a friend.
1021 went on
a hiking trip to Shenandoah the Saturday before VBS and I was really glad that
Brandy had decided to come. We had many conversations that day, but the most
distinct one was on the way home. We were both sitting in the back seat of the
car and somehow, the topic of dating had come up. Brandy shared with me her
values and beliefs in dating and I was surprised to learn that we shared very
similar convictions. I was a little shocked; being twenty-five at the time, I
had begun to think that I might not find someone who had similar beliefs as me.
It was definitely a monumental conversation in our relationship. We both served
at Lifehouse’s VBS in June and that’s when I started praying about Brandy
specifically. I knew I liked her and was interested in a relationship. After
VBS, Brandy went to Powerlife to serve for the week. In her absence, I knew
that I wanted to pursue her to be my wife. I prayed many times every day asking
God that she might be the one. The first time I saw her after she returned from
Powerlife was on Sunday morning. I was on stage preparing to play the violin
with the band that morning and Brandy was to play keyboard. She walked into the
auditorium and when I saw her, my heart skipped a few beats. I had to talk to
her and a few days later on the fifth of July, I asked her to meet with me one
day that weekend so we could talk. She agreed to meet with me on Sunday and I
spent all night Saturday begging God that she would let me pursue her. Well I
woke up the next morning and I knew His answer. Brandy and I met for coffee at
Starbucks that afternoon and I asked her to let me pursue her with the hope
that she might someday be my wife. She, of course, said yes. July 7th
was the start of our journey together.
While Brandy
was at Powerlife again, only 5 days after we had met at Starbucks, we spent
quite a bit of time talking over the phone, counting the days until she
returned. We spent a lot of time together over the next month, learning and
growing in our relationship with each other. I had already known that she is a
sweet, kind and loving gal, who is totally given over in her dedication to
serving Christ. I began to experience her love and kindness myself, as we were
quickly falling in love with each other and showing our affection to one
another. Some of my fondest memories are when we were simply sitting by the
pond here at Ole Greenspring Manor or sitting in the back porch swing, talking
about life or sometimes not talking at all and just enjoying each other’s
presence. We had a picnic date by the pond one evening; I had made dinner and
brought it by. We ate our meal and talked about the day. I had made her a
bronze ring at work; a token that I wanted Brandy to have to show how much I
cared about her. I know she really loved it and was surprised when I gave it to
her. That evening, as we sat on the porch swing, I knew that I loved her. I
didn’t end up telling her until a few days later though; I wanted it to be the
right time and it wasn’t. I told her a couple days later, just a little while
after we had finished watching the movie Courageous. It was very moving and I
didn’t want another day to go by without her knowing that I loved her. I was
overjoyed to hear her tell me that she loved me as well, but I wasn’t
surprised. I had known from the time we had met at Starbucks that Brandy was
the wife that God had provided. For me and Brandy, love meant marriage and that
was something we were talking about not long after that night. We knew we would
get married, but we weren’t sure about the timing; I didn’t know how long I
would wait to propose or how long an engagement we would have. We talked about
several different times that might work and decided to pray about it. I prayed
for a few days and it didn’t take long for God to give me several confirmations
about a fall wedding.
When I
decide on something, I don’t like to wait to act. So I bought a ring right away,
already knowing exactly what Brandy wanted. Three days after I had the ring, on
August 7th, we had already planned a date night to Rehoboth beach.
Brandy loves the beach and I enjoy it as well, so I thought it would be the
perfect place to propose. After dinner, I led her out to the beach so we could
walk alongside the waves. We were talking about our friendship and Brandy began
talking about her love for me. It was too perfect, so I told her how much I
loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life together. I dropped to
one knee and ring in hand, I asked her to marry me. She was surprised because
she hadn’t expected me to propose that quickly or thought I even had a ring,
but she was overjoyed and before she tackled me with hugs and kisses, I
distinctly remember her saying: “Of course I’ll marry you!”
As you will
read (or have read) in her perspective of our love story, a year before we met
Brandy had been resisting God’s will for her life, which had been to move to
Delaware. I had been resisting God’s will for my life, which had been to stay
in Delaware. Knowing that we met after we had both surrendered to Him and
learning the many similarities in our convictions, how we had each saved ourselves
for our future spouse and kept our hearts only for each other, it has surely
been no coincidence that Brandy and I were meant for each other. I could go on
and on for many pages, writing about our love story and the ways that we complement
each other in our lives. Our story has surely been a divine romance, unique in
so many ways and will continue for the rest our lives. My wish for you is that
you would pursue God first in your life and He will bless you richly.
“But
seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will
be added to you.” Matthew
6:33
So that's it... long I know... but we are overjoyed and praising God for His goodness!!!
Coming up next on A Sweet Aroma is what I learned about God from planning a wedding!
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