Why I stopped praying for a baby "as soon as possible."

Yesterday morning at 5am, I woke up to excruciating cramps and the heart-sinking knowledge that this was not our month. Tears streamed as the pain came. Another month gone. Another chance lost.
Another 28-36 days of wondering WHEN? I spent most of the day on the couch or in the tub or under the sheets. There was this tendency in me to want to scream at God....  "Why didn't You give me what I've prayed for?" "When will it be my turn?"
But then I remembered..... He did give me what I prayed for....  See a few months ago, I finished a book that shaped my prayer life incredibly and boy did it come at just the right time. I had purchased this book during the Fall of 2013 when Joel and I were knee deep in wedding planning. I was in the middle of another Mark Batterson book that had been quite challenging when a close friend started raving about The Circle Maker. It just so happened to be on sale when I ordered Joel's birthday present and I had been wanting to purchase it for a few months. It got tucked away in the boxes and totes with all my books when moving into Joel's house and I had kind of forgotten about it. 
This past summer I had just finished up a book and was trying to figure out what to read next. That's when I discovered it in my long lost collection. I was debating between it and a couple other books  Joel had suggested, along with some others in my archive. 
My decision became clear on a hot mid-July day and to be real, not a good one. After being 2 months post-op from my shoulder surgery, I thought for sure it was finally our month. I had been wrestling for days with my thoughts and was trying so hard not to get my hopes up.... but let's be honest, my hopes were up. Then the realization hit me like a Mack truck on a slippery mountain runaway.... we were not pregnant... again. I was devastated if I'm being totally transparent. I cried and cried and cried some more. I sat down to spend some time with the Lord. I started to pray and couldn't find words. I was so shocked we weren't having a baby. I had prayed so hard. It made no sense. It was then The Circle Maker caught my eye. Lord knew I needed some wisdom on prayer... something besides the cliche "trust in God's timing" I was hearing all around.  (Please don't get me wrong, I totally believe God's timing is perfect but that's not the fix all answer everyone wants to think it is.) 
So in a moment of desperation for a new perspective and a new prayer, I started reading this book. There were so many moments while reading that my eyes were opened and my heart was full that I could never walk you through all of them in one post (although I did mention some in this one). The overall challenge was to Dream Big, Pray Hard, Think Long. The entire text was packed with truth and Scripture and stories of God's faithfulness but the section that got me the most was "Think Long." 
Like many other Americans, when I want something I want it NOW. Anyone else out there like that?
God is constantly shaping me in patience from the Spirit. 
It was a Thursday when He spoke through the chapter titled "Keep Circling" and by circling He means praying. Batterson told of this huge hike that him and his son had completed and then he said this... "The degree of satisfaction is directly proportional to the degree of difficulty. The harder the climb, the sweeter the summit. The same is true with prayer. The more you have to circle something in prayer, the more satisfying it is spiritually. And, often, the more glory God gets. Until recently, I wanted God to answer every prayer ASAP. That is no longer my agenda. I don't want easy answers or quick answers because I have a tendency to mishandle the blessings that come too easily or too quickly. I take the credit or take them for granted. So now I pray it will take long enough and be hard enough for God to receive all of the glory. I'm not looking for the path of least resistance; I'm looking for the path of greatest glory. And that requires high-degree-of-difficulty prayers and lots of circling." 
This paragraph rocked my world. 
So often I pray for something AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Anyone with me? 
Especially in praying for a baby... "God please give us a little Miller AS SOON AS POSSIBLE." 
What I realized after reading this was that what I had been praying was silly really....  here's why.... "For nothing will be impossible with God" (Luke 1.37). 








































It was "possible" for God to give us a baby the month we got married.  It was "possible" for Him to give us a baby in July when I  had prayed so very hard.  It was "possible for Him to give us a baby this starting month of 2015. Heck... He's God. It was "possible" for Him to give us a baby before we were ever intimate... case and point, MARY. 
His ability to make it happen is not what is lacking.  His provision, His plan, His glory, that's what's holding us back from conceiving.  I'm not saying that I get this or that I'm always happy about it.  I'm not saying that makes it easy to know God is able but He's not giving.  I am saying that my prayer has changed... In everything in my life I want God to receive the maximum glory possible.... no matter what it takes. And because of that my prayer has changed  from  "God, give us a baby as soon as possible"  to  "God, I'll wait and pray as long as it takes.  As long as it takes for you to get the most glory possible.  As long as it takes for others to see your power.  As long as it takes for you to shape my heart and grow my marriage.  As long as it takes for you to get all the praise." Batterson finished the chapter saying, "Maybe we need to change our prayer approach from as soon as possible to as long as it takes." Maybe you, like I did, need a new prayer.   What are you waiting on that you that you need to pray as long as it takes?
What have you prayed for in the past that God answered in a time to receive all glory?