What does that feel like to look at a stick and see two pink lines?
Does you're heart leap for joy?
Do you have to convince yourself it isn't a dream?
How long before it sets it in?
What does it feel like to tell your husband he's a daddy?
Do you melt at the thought of him holding a precious little baby?
Does your mom cry? Does your sister jump and down?
Do you feel like you're announcing the most exciting news ever?
What does it feel like to see the first glimpses of the ultrasound?
Do you cry at the sound of the tiny heart beating?
Do you stare at that flimsy print out for hours?
How do you contain yourself?
What does it feel like to wake up and see a belly that has an obvious, growing baby?
Do you talk to him or her?
Do you get distracted at the thought?
Do you spend hours praising God for that miracle you hold?
What does it feel like hear the words "it's a boy" or "it's a girl?"
Does your mind fill with thoughts of pink or blue?
Do you run to the store to buy outfits galore?
Do you daydream about the next 5, 10, 20 years?
What does it feel like to feel kicks and turns?
Do you laugh at the thought that there's a human inside you?
Do you ever get over that feeling of bliss?
Do you wonder what they'll look like, who they'll act like, all they'll be?
What does it feel like to say "the baby's coming?"
Do you panic at the thought of your world changing suddenly?
Does your mind run at a 100mph?
Does time seem to stand still?
What does it feel like to end your pushing with the long awaited entry cry?
Do you lose your breath at the sight of the creation so precious?
Do you weep with elation?
Does your longing feel complete?
I just want to know. I could go on with questions for hours.
Not that your description could satisfy my curiosity.
I'm sure for all you it's different... or maybe it's somewhat the same.
Maybe it changes as you have more and more or maybe it never does.
Sometimes I sit in conversation with you or see you across the room or get stuck on your picture mid scroll.
And I wonder.
I wonder what you must be feeling, thinking, dreaming?
I pray one day I won't have to wonder.
I pray one day I'll answer these questions.
Maybe next week. Maybe next month. Maybe next year.
Until then I'm left with all these questions.
What a beautiful poem, Brandy! Thank you for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteBrandy, you are amazing!! Thank you for reminding me not to take for granted the little moments of pregnancy that I am experiencing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenna <3
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you and prays that you will one day be able to answer your questions. I love you, you sweet lady!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your heart! A dear friend of mine is dealing with infertility, and has wondered many of the same things. I hope someday you will be blessed with a baby and have the answers you are seeking!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness... I wondered so many of these same things, for so long. And it has ended up being nothing like I imagined, but so much better than I imagined. I pray that you will experience all these things for yourself soon, and believing along side you that YOU WILL!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your precious prayers Tayler. Love you friend! So glad we met in Blogland <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Aimee. I hope that for your friend too.
ReplyDelete<3 Thank you Logan. That means so much.
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