dealing with worry in pregnancy {especially after infertility}



It was a March morning and I was preparing to head out on a 9 hour trip to VA. Two of my dear friends (both that had fertility issues) had recently found out they were expecting and they were heavy on my heart. Why? Because both of them were fearful of miscarriage and I could totally understand why. It broke my heart to know that they had both wanted this so desperately but were now unable to really celebrate. I prayed for them not out of judgement but sympathy.... as I could imagine that I would easily be in their shoes one day. 


It makes sense to be scared to lose someone it took you so long to gain. 
And if you did miscarry, how long would the waiting be for the next precious baby? 


As I begged God to give them peace and joy surrounding their pregnancies, He spoke something so clearly to me in my spirit.


"One day, I'm going to give you a baby. And when I do, I want you to praise me for it and be thankful for it whether you get to carry it for 2 months or 9 months."


I, of course, began crying. Initially, because for the first time God had confirmed for me that I would carry a child... something I had never been directly promised. Then, because He loved me enough to prepare my (often anxious) heart for those moments... now these moments. 


Now, 3 months later with a blessing in my womb, I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for that morning of prayer. The sin I've been most convicted of in the last year or so has been worry. As I have been in a constant repent and trust cycle, I have watched God develop my faith time and time again. I can honestly say that worry and anxiety have not been major issues in these precious weeks with this baby. I know that is only because of the Spirit working in me and the constant reminder of that morning with the Lord.


I wake up every day thankful for THIS day with this baby. I praise Him and thank Him for this child.
When fear creeps in (as of course it will), He is faithful to remind me that He is sovereign and I must trust Him. 


As my pastor's wise wife said, "The worry won't end after pregnancy.
It's easy to think we'll breathe easier after the first trimester or after birth. But the truth is, when it comes to our children, the love and concern never ends. We can't expect it to. We can only learn how to constantly place their little lives in the hands of an all-powerful God and thank God for every precious day we get to spend with them. 


That's what I'm doing today friends and I hope you'll join me in doing the same.
For you mommas-in-waiting, begin preparing a thankful (not anxious) heart about your pregnancy to come.
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Did/do you wrestle with anxiety in pregnancy?
How do you deal with it? 

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2 comments:

  1. I know I talked about this on one of your last posts, but I just thought I'd share my post that I wrote about this same subject, expect about dealing with that after a miscarriage. http://www.aprioritizedmarriage.com/2014/11/thoughts-from-my-heart.html
    I'm so glad to see others excited and happy about the child they're carrying and not letting that fear of what could be get the best of them and ruin this happy time!

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  2. While I was pregnant, a lot of my friends were as well. Many discovered health issues with their babies, and some even miscarried. Then, they started giving birth and many of their babies only lasted about 48 hours. It scared me to death that I personally knew so many who were having heartaches with losing a child. I was scared for my own child. However, my pediatrician was a pillar of light. He was so kind and gentle and would always (w/out me prompting or asking) that I was having a "text-book pregnancy." That really helped in my confidence.

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