my 5 year plan didn't work out...

Tomorrow I turn 25 and my oh my, so much didn't go "as planned." 

When I was about 6 months shy of 20 I had to lay out my 2, 5, and 10 year plans for a Freshman course in college. According to my 5 year plan, this is what life would have looked like....

I would be in my 3rd year at Quillen College of Medicine in Johnson City, TN. I would be well on my way to becoming an OB-GYN. I would be working on the weekends part-time as a nurse to reduce my amount of student loans. I would "hopefully" be married and planning the "perfect" time for our first baby in the midst of all my schooling. I would likely feel successful and accomplished.... but spiritually unsatisfied.

I know that God calls people to be doctors and uses them for His glory... but it wasn't what He was calling me to. He was calling me to relinquish control. (Something He still calls me to in new ways constantly and something I'm constantly needing to grow in.) Becoming a doctor was a challenge I had set before myself. I loved college and loved learning so the steps to get there were parts I looked forward to. But even in the midst of being right on track, God was stirring me for something different.

So at 22 I did most definitely the craziest thing I've ever done. With God pursuing me, leading me, and providing me every step of the way, I left it all. I walked away from my senior of nursing school, my cheerleading scholarship, my college friends, my close proximity to family, my 2 jobs that I loved, and my 5 year plan.

I moved to Delaware to intern with a church plant where I used maybe 5% of the skills and knowledge I'd gained in college. It was crazy and so irrational and so many thought I'd completely lost my mind.... but it was right. It was so so right. God gave me an overwhelming peace that I hadn't experienced in years. It was then that He really began to teach me that the more control I handed over, the more fulfilled my life would be.

At 25, it's hard for me to even recognize that 20 year old with med school dreams. I work a part time side job in marketing and am mainly a stay-at-home wife and about to be mama. I can't wrap my head around studying 20-40 hours a week. I am pregnant with our first baby and the only planning concern I have is hoping for no icy roads when I go into labor. And ready for a funny one.... I don't even see an OB-GYN ha.... because I'd 10x prefer my Midwife.

I love my life. I wouldn't have it any other way. If you gave the opportunity tomorrow, I would not trade this place for the one where I'd planned to be. 

So what are my plans for the next 5 years? Enjoy Jesus with my family and follow Him wherever He leads. Love my husband and serve him well. Raise my child(ren) in light of the goodness of God.  Relinquish every area of control that brings into my attention (only by His strength). Be in deeper fellowship with my Savior than ever before.

I'm thankful for these last 5 years and I'm looking forward to the next 5 with great expectations.