So today I'm going to do something that scares me a little {or maybe a lot}.
I'm going to share my 10 secret dreams.
My friend Lauren shared her 10 Secret Dreams a few months ago & challenged her readers to share too.I've been hoping to do this since then but am just now working up the nerve.
These are those ones I don't talk about much and if I do it's usually in a joking manner (that way no one ACTUALLY believes that I want to pursue them). These are not including my day to day dreams of knowing my Bible inside & out, discipling girls on a weekly basis, loving my husband way more than myself, writing blogs that give a voice to infertility, or even to be known as a girl who shines bright beams of Jesus wherever I go.
While those are all things I'm striving for, these are the big dreams that I've been putting off pursuing for WAY TOO LONG.
So here I go... {Deep Breath}
My 10 {Somewhat} Secret Dreams:
1.Have a blog with 20,000+ hits/mo.
So considering you are all reading my -blog- right now, I feel this is a fitting one to go first. In the last year God has given me a HUGE desire to write & be read. I love the community and impact that comes with blogging. I pray that as God gives me words to write and leads people to read them, He will use my blog as a means of ministry to many people.
2. Write a book.
While we're on the topic of writing.... I've wanted to start jotting the words of a book for several years now. It's a prodding I've always pushed aside with the million excuses I have stored up. I don't feel like a good enough writer and to be honest I don't even know where to start. However this prompting that the Lord keeps giving doesn't come without His gentle reminder that I can't do this but He can.
3. Share my songs with the world.
Not really the world... but you get the picture. Many of you probably just learned something about me you didn't know.... I'm a songwriter. I don't talk about it much or share my songs a ton either. I have lots stored up that have never made it on my computer let alone into the ears of another. While I have no aspirations of being a singer, I do feel like the Lord gave me these songs to be heard by more than the 4 walls of my home office.
4. Drive a Mary Kay car.
So in case you didn't know... I'm all about my Mary Kay. I started selling in June and I love the parties and the skin care and the one-on-one facials. What I love about MK is the potential to keep on going even when I get my dream of becoming a mama & staying home with my babies. I have a long way to go before getting my car but I'm hoping to be much closer to it this time next year than I am right now.
5. Be a wife that brings joy & honor to her husband.
I'm not just talking about representing him well here. I'm talking about Proverbs 31 style bringing honor. As in others meet me, know me, work with me and it causes them to respect my husband. I want to be a woman who for years on end brings him joy by loving on him, respecting him, greeting him at the door, packing his lunch, and proofreading his sermons.
6. Be a momma to 10+ kids.
There.... I said it. This is one of those that I joke openly about. "I would love to have somewhere around 10," I say. Most think I'm kidding or crazy one.... and maybe I'm a little of the latter. I've always wanted a huge family and between conceiving & adopting I want to mother 10+ children for the glory of the Lord to send out as disciples.
7. Be part of revival in my hometown.
I love love love my hometown in Virginia. It's a great place full of many of loving, giving people. Sadly in the heart of this beautiful town are a lot of people who don't know Jesus as their Savior and many of those who do are unfulfilled in their walks & ministries. I want to be a part of a fire there that changes that. {More on this to come soon.}
8. Proclaim the Gospel to 5+ nations.
Joel & I both feel led to church planting and feel that eventually this will be overseas. Whether it's through short term stents or long missional journeys, I want to deliver the good news of Jesus to at least 5 other countries.
9. Initiate small group ministries for women struggling with infertility.
I've always been heartbroken and burdened for women who couldn't conceive so easily. That burden and brokenness have only increased over this last year given that it's not been easy for us either. It's an area I feel is way too scarce in ministry and I want to do something about it. The women in my church who have been through that it that have come along side me have helped more than they'll ever know & I want others to have that support.
10. Organize & lead a conference for young girls.
This dream right here is one that God is pushing me way out of my comfort zone on. I've always had a passion for teen girls & young adult women but this is something He is laying the foundation for that blows me away.
So there ya have it.... my heart out on the table.
I'd love to hear some of your secret dreams!
Would you be willing to leave even just one in the comments?
While on the way out of town after Christmas adventures, Husband & I sat down for breakfast across from one of my dearest friends. She & I were the inseparable duo all through high school & though life has pulled us all over in the last 5 years, the friendship still remains.
As we sat there in Chick-Fil-A looking at the year of ahead and the year behind, it was funny to compare them to where we dreamed we would be.
Setting high career goals and pursuing post-graduate degrees were pushed & expected when you sat in the top 5. So we, of course, went with the push. We didn't know any better.
I can look back & see that those dreams were birthed out of the American Dream, the drive for ambition, & the expectations of those around me.
Please don't misunderstand. I did & still do have a passion for taking care of people, a zeal for the study of the human body, and a desire for soaking up as much information possible.
While I do think that passion, zeal, desire was given by my Creator, I can look back and see that the aspiration of going to medical school was not from Him.
I think God leads many Christians to be excellent doctors for His glory but it wasn't what He was telling me. It's what I was telling me. What the American Dream was telling me.
God brought me to an altar where the only acceptable sacrifice was my dreams.
I can remember standing on the right side of the auditorium when the band at The Well started playing a song that haunted me for months to come.
One line it rang in my head over & over & over.
"More than all of my dreams, more than fame, I will seek you Lord."
These beautiful words of surrender penned by Hillsong can still stall my heart to this day.
I spent many hours that Spring of 2012 asking the Lord,
"am I really seeking You more than all of my dreams?"
I wasn't. And I knew it.
I knew it from the moment I heard that song and got a pit in my stomach.
In the meantime of sacrificing self-absorbed dreams, God has been birthing new dreams & goals in my life.
It it with slight hesitancy & great fluidity that I begin this week on posting about dreams.
Since laying those huge dreams on the alter, I've been reserved about writing down, outwardly expressing, or passionately pursuing new dreams in my heart.
I blame this partially on fear of recreating my own pursuits again but if I'm being totally honest here, this has been partially due to fear of failure.
In this last year God has been showing me that NOT pursuing the dreams He has birthed in me is just as sinful as pursing the dreams He has not.
So here I am putting my dreams out there.
Holding myself accountable.
Proclaiming that "Here.I.come."
Here I come with fear that I won't make it.
Fear that I'll at some point grab the reigns.
Fear that I don't have the talent or the resources.
Fear that these dreams will just be a list.
Fear that they'll never be accomplished.
Fear that they will.
But don't worry.
I'm also coming with faith that He will get me there.
Faith that He'll keep my dreams constantly on the altar.
Faith that He is sufficient to use me.
Faith these will be more than just a list.
Faith that they will be accomplished.
Faith that He will get the glory.
So join me tomorrow as I share my 10 {somewhat} secret dreams.
Dreams that I'm going to start proclaiming & pursuing.
Dreams that will shape this year for me.
Dreams that will constantly be on the altar for God's taking or His leaving.
What "dreams" have you chased in life that you later saw weren't from God?
Do you struggle with following the dreams the Lord has birthed in you?
I would love to hear!
I'm writing about renewing my dreams today as part of a link up with The Peony Project.
The Peony Project is a community for women who love Jesus, love blogging, and are looking for a common space to share ideas, encourage one another, and make real, honest friendships with one another.
Hi there! I'm Brandy, the writer and photographer here at A Sweet Aroma. I hope you find this space to be one of encouragement at transparency as I blog and photograph my way through this beautiful life.